Today, I am 2 weeks abstinent. Many of the members of my home group made it seem that abstinence was almost impossible & I was afraid I wouldn't be able to achieve it. I also realize that I'm in the "honeymoon phase" of OA & could have a much harder time maintaining my abstinence later on, but I don't see the reality of working the program unless I am giving it 100%. If I'm not abstinent, then I'm not working my program, much like I believe that I can't be working my Al-Anon program if I'm still trying to control the actions of the alcoholics in my life or engaging in other co-dependent behaviors.
I heard someone tell me, the other day, that they were working their program other than the food part and I guess I don't understand that. This is a 12-step program for compulsive overeaters, it's all about "the food part," like AA is all about "the alcohol part." I feel like too many people think that abstinence, or striving to be abstinent or willingness to be abstinent is optional. I understand struggling, I understand that we slip & binge. Just don't tell me you're working your program when you're really back in the food. If you're struggling, ask me for help. If you're in the food, tell me, so I can tell you I'll be here for you when you need me. I can't be effective if you're not honest.
I'm sorry. I'm a little disappointed in that person. We were co-sponsoring & she was doing so well in the beginning & then she suddenly left me hanging. I know she's experiencing a lot of stress in her life and I know that the temptation to go back to our old ways is a strong one during times of immense turmoil. I'm thankful she's at least working her steps right now. I do hope that she'll go back to the beginning & start with #1.
I see no one in my home group who's recovery I want, I do want a sponsor, but I won't settle for one who doesn't have the type of recovery that I need in my life. For me, abstinence MUST be the foundation of my recovery.